Did I ever think I would be saying those words as they pertained to ME?? Well, not at all. However, I'm saying them now as I re-enter the dating world at 44. Crazy Scary! The dating world has changed so much since I left it over 18 years ago. We met dates back then through work or a friend. And or the occasional date we met in the bars. So at least you had an actual "visual" of what you were attempting to date.
Today, it all revolves around a cell phone or the internet. Period. Most all of your friends are married and have been for a long time. So their "single friend" quota is pretty low for you to meet someone through them. Now you can look into church groups as an option, and I haven't ruled that out. I just like to work extra on the weekends if I do----which leaves me watching my DVR of Joel Osteen... And single men in my area don't flash on the bottom screen advertising they are ready to date... So, it turns you to the internet. And there lies a HUGE adventure.
Well, you can make it an adventure or you can do what I should have done the day I created that user name. GET INFORMED!! Trying to meet someone online takes research. Yes, they may have a cute picture and their profile may describe the "fairy tale" you have been looking for your whole life. But stop your self right then and there---and read this book.
The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. This book really clarified just how do get started and what to do when you get that first response back from your "ad" as the book calls it. After reading this, I guess you can say my expectations are higher for the men that I do talk to. It has also made me much more aware of things that I need to change. It's not going to be easy starting over at 44, but that doesn't mean I have to settle or lose "myself" in a man. Patience is key in this playing field I have learned. So, while you are waiting for the infamous "You've Got Mail" notification---think about your standards and what you want out of a man. You may want to give him that "date zero," but you will know from our "intuition" we have if he gets to go on Date One and so on.
Another great book out there which has also been made into a movie is by
Steve Harvey called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. I read the book and bought the movie. Loved them both. And he is spot on with everything he says. This book also reminds you of how a man is supposed to treat a lady. Kinda "old fashioned, old school" you will see when you start reading it. I also recommend doing the exercises that both books talk about. This way you have an idea of what you are looking for and those little "flags" can go off when you don't get it. Then be polite, but move on. Like I keep saying, I'm 44 years old---I don't have to do something I don't want to do, and why waste your time or his. I'm not looking to remarry, just someone who makes me laugh and enjoys a nice dinner or night out. So, look at what you want and aspire to get that.
But read these books!!!
